Is this the way to Amarillo?

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Sha lala  la la lala la la(boom, boom)  Sha lala etc..  Gerry Manners and his band did a great version of Neil Sedaka’s 1960’s classic, in the Windmill Restaurant on Saturday nights ‘back in the day’…You say ‘back in the day’..when your memory becomes confused. You could have a  prawn cocktail with real Dublin Bay prawns and a ‘Windmill special’ steak with a few pints, or even wine. If the spirit moved you there was a dance floor. I still judge a restaurant by whether or not the prawns have a Dublin accent. I eat and enjoy most of the immigrant prawns no matter how they speak, but your Dublin Bay lads are your only man. As for dancing, my ineptitude is still a cause of contention. I may attempt a comeback sometime but at present I am resting. I can still manage the prawns and the steak though, no bother.


Joe Plunkett and his brother, Terry, were the first fishermen to land prawns in Skerries, as recently as 1950. I know a few people who resist prawns, on the basis that they are merely the insects of the sea. Great. That leaves a few more for the rest of us. Prawns became synonymous with Skerries. We once had a prawn festival to encourage the eating of prawns. No encouragement is needed. All the others are impostors disguised in sauce. But I digress.

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In the great state of Texas there is a city called Yellow. Not a word you associate with Texas when used as a term of abuse. Gelb is yellow in German, according to the label on the paint tube but the word sounds like the discharge from a pustule. The French say jaune which suggests a jaundiced view of the colour. Amarillo is the proper name of the city, the capital of the Texas Panhandle and gateway to the great South West. It evokes sunshine and sandstone deserts; mesas and canyons; Coronado and his Conquistadors; mission bells, Arapahoes and Apaches; cowboys, dusty trail drives and all the romance and panoply of the West. Why did Johnny Cash or Jim Reeves, not have a Forty Shades of Amarillo to match the shades of green? There are many more than forty shades of yellow. We get quite a few of them in spring and early summer.

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Get the last of the daffodils!! Windsor yellow.

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Chrome yellow, poppies.

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Cadmium yellow

Admittedly Neil and company engaged in some extravagant displays of grief and longing: huggin’ my pillow (rhymes with…come on; weepin’ like a willow..rhymes with…that’s right. You’ve got it.) Sweet Marie might be a bit alarmed if he were to arrive in such a heightened emotional state. I like to think that she was Sweet Marie Rose, inventor of the ideal seafood sauce. I can appreciate Neil’s desire to  get back to her without delay…. prawn cocktail followed by a nice steak a few pints and a fond reunion.  There might even be a spot of dancing. Gerry had another favourite, The Snowbird. Snowbirds, I understand, are elderly people who fly south to avoid the winter. Amarillo has the occasional blizzard so they would be well advised to go further south. Food experts write that prawn cocktail is hopelessly out of fashion; so nineteen seventies, certainly not ‘cutting edge.’ Strangely though, it still tastes good. The Windmill restaurant has revived some of its old favourites. Well done to them. If you hang on to your old clothes for long enough they will come back into fashion. |You will be ‘cutting edge’, a trend-setter.  Maybe drunken-uncle-at-wedding dancing will be the next big thing.

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Oilseed rape is the latest thing too. It can shine a light on the landscape on even the dullest day. Aureolin yellow, another  of the forty shades. It lights up your journey.

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I went into a shop that specialised in kitchen equipment. It was a slow day for trade. The young woman at the cash desk was reading Fifty Shades of Grey. The title puts me in mind of Ikea soft furnishings.  She was engrossed. I wanted to get a gadget for crushing garlic cloves to make garlic butter for some prawns and mussels. It struck me as possibly a bad time to ask for it. I settled for half a dozen teaspoons and beat a hasty retreat.

Sha lala la la lala la la (Boom boom)

Marbles and balls of steel. Fingal County.


There was a hierarchy in the world of marbles. There was an established rate of exchange. The lowliest form of marble was the ‘meb’ (rhymes with’ pleb’ a derivative of a Greek word meaning the common multitude.) They were made of clay, generally brown in colour and could be mistaken for aniseed balls. A meb had to strike a superior marble numerous times, before victory could be claimed. Likewise in swaps. The meb was like the low-number cards in a pack, in comparison to the royal cards. Mebs were almost a cause for shame, except that, in the hands of a skilled operator, a meb could win the treasured glassiers or taws. A meb could not expect to defeat a steeler. It would be like a low-born villein entering the lists, to challenge Sir Launcelot, before the lords and ladies of Camelot. Avaunt, thou varlet. Get thee hence. The taw was a giant meb, made of ceramic. It was an ugly thing, about the size of a gob-stopper, but it had added value, because of its size. In the world of marbles, size matters.

Glassiers meant the world to us. Nobody had seen Earth-rise, in those days, but we had marbles that looked like Saturn, without its rings, Earth with its swirling clouds and deep blue oceans. There were opaque ones that seemed carved from ivory and nacreous ones, carved from the inner recesses of the pearl oyster. You could carry the whole solar system in your pocket on the way to school and lose it all on the way home in a long game of follier-uppers. I think I started to lose interest in marbles when a cheap glassier came on the market. It was a sphere of clear glass with a shard of colour inserted. Technically, it had the same value as a real marble, but I could not accept imitations or imposters. I don’t know how marbles were made, or who made them. I still can’t envisage how they could be formed to such perfect spheres, without a sign of a seam or the marks of a mould.

There was a belief that steelers fell from trains. They popped out of the bearings and could be harvested along the railway tracks. Like Johnny Cash, I walked the line. I kept a close watch, but I never found an oily steeler nestling beside a sleeper. I looked in the boxes of axle grease. It must still hold the world record for vile smells. Whooo! The grease heated up with friction and seeped down onto the axles, like an elephant in must. There were no ball-bearings on the trains,  in those days, or so I am assured. The grease lubricated white-metal ‘bushes’. Look it up, yourself. I have enough problems.  Steelers came from the garage. You could get them if you knew someone with a garage. No joy. The Swedes made the best steelers. They smuggled them to the Allies, during the war, in high-speed launches. They went into the moving parts of tanks and military machines. They enabled gun-turrets to swivel and aeroplane propellers to rotate. If you could get to a battlefield you could get loads of them. Without those Swedish steelers, the war would have been lost. The Skylon, symbol of The Festival of Britain in 1950, balanced all its enormous weight on a single (British) ball-bearing. Just goes to show…something. The steeler was the A Bomb of the marble world. It was the armoured war-horse, the Big Bertha. With a steeler you could blast the opposition into oblivion…. unless, of course, an assassin with a meb and the hands of a gunfighter, arrived on the scene. You could be ‘Rooked’ (pronounced ‘rooooked’) by a steeler.

There has been some discussion recently as to why the councillors of Fingal County did not vote themselves and Fingal into oblivion, by facilitating a return to a monolithic Mega Dublin.  Fingal has an ancient identity, going back to the time of the Vikings. It is worth retaining. Fingal is a small entity in the context of The Greater Dublin Area. Although the ‘default setting’ with regard to any form of government or politics, is a protracted sneer, Fingal County has been a success. Its councillors are accessible. All politics is local. Matters got lost or concealed in the greater County Dublin. We know the history of the scandals. A ‘foot-soldier’ councillor explained the modus operandi for getting some unpopular item through the planning process, in a particular area: the councillors from the relevant area opposed or abstained; councillors from remoter areas voted in favour, as directed. There were no electoral repercussions.

There was a small marsupial creature, who boasted that he had balls of steel, scurrying through the undergrowth of Dublin County Council. It all happened far away, in O Connell Street and in Conways’ pub. He dispensed largesse from his pouch, in brown envelopes, at the behest of the bigger political beasts.  He greased the mechanisms and quite a few palms. There was a resounding clatter in Dublin Castle during a planning tribunal when his much-vaunted steelers hit the floor, under the basilisk gaze of Justice Flood.  Some light was let into the jungle. Some big beasts were flushed out. I went to the funeral of my humble foot-soldier. He got out, just in time. One of the big beasts, noted himself, for digging up trees in areas that displeased him at election time, delivered a eulogy. It was in March, when the crows and the rooks begin their housing developments. They took (grave?) exception to the intrusion. They set up a clamour of protest. He was annihilated.  He was well and truly roooked. The rooks were more eloquent in their criticism, than the gullible electorate of County Dublin. He wasn’t a steeler in the great scheme of things. He was only a taw. Justice Flood was the genuine steeler. Keep it local.

Losing your marbles is a hazard of getting older. It is usually conveyed by a circular movement of the finger at the temple and a knowing look. You lose track of things and get the wrong end of the stick. You lose the thread of your..of your.. em, argument. Couldn’t happen to me.  The Greeks lost their marbles to Lord Elgin. They are in the British Museum. I went in to have a look.  There were no steelers or even a few decent glassiers. There were only a few oul’ statues with bits knocked off them.  What was all the fuss about? I went out and had some lunch. They do a nice crayfish salad in the atrium. Now that’s worth a look. I mean the atrium… and, in fairness, the crayfish.


The museum has one item that I would happily steal; a little, inscribed Anglo-Saxon brooch. Aelwyn owned me. May God own her. Simple, a treasure, a person, eternity all encapsulated in a phrase. I would trade all my marbles for it… if I hadn’t lost them all many years ago to some Greek fellow.