It said in National Geographic, so it must be true, even compulsory, that the next stage of human evolution is in our own hands. ‘We have the technology.’ Out with the old and in with the bionics. I’m not so sure. I still prefer humans to machines. Steve Austin would hold all the Olympic records because his technicians were better than yours or mine. By running in slow-motion he passed out planes, trains and automobiles. How did that work? There was a Steve Austin Action Man with a hole in the back of his head so that you could look through his bionic eye. As an Action Man he really didn’t do much. That was left to the imagination.
He was actually a doll. A doll! Keep that to yourself. Steve lived in our house for many years until his arms lost their tension and his eye became dim. We didn’t rebuild him because his fans had grown up. We hadn’t got the technology or the super glue.
What do you do when your kids come home from school and announce that they are going to take part in the Macunity Games, the new childrens’ event that was popping up all over the country? You take them out to get new runners. They opted of course, for Steve Austin runners, blue and red with go-fast stripes. The race was in the bag. There was a parade, marshalled by Paddy McNally, from The Monument all the way to the Rugby Club. There was a banner on poles. It’s still in use. Mick Carron was on the public address. Boys under eight, sixty yards dash. Boys under eight to the starting line, please. It’s wonderful what a whistle and a high-vis jacket can achieve with a crowd of small boys. They ran in groups of ten. Our lads ran like Steve Austin, in slow-motion, looking down at their new blue and red runners with the go-fast stripes, waiting for that miracle to happen– when the other competitors begin to slow down and go backwards, when the music begins to build to a crescendo, when Steve surges forward through the miracle of bionics, past trains, automobiles etc. driven by bad guys, to claim the glittering prize. There was no miracle. I thought of taking the runners back to the shop and demanding a refund under the Trades Description or Sale of Goods Acts. Nowadays a concerned parent would sue for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and claim for at least six million dollars for emotional suffering. However, the lads were still pleased with their runners and they got Tayto crisps and lemonade, so all was not lost.
So recently, on a beautiful summer day, we went to the Community Centre park to watch our grandson take part in his first Macunity Games. The public address system played Chariots of Fire. Who would not want to run to the music of Chariots of Fire? The sun shone all day, one of those special days that makes you grateful to be there, to witness a community at play and at ease together in a great public space. The organisation was, as always, impressive. The children were a delight. They run in metres nowadays, of course. Boys under eight, sixty metres dash. Boys under eight go to the starting line, please.
I leaned on the barrier and looked around. This was Nicky Ellis’s field. He grew cabbages, sprouts and spuds, leeks and cauliflowers, carrots, turnips and parsnips, in the light, sandy soil. As we trudged every day to and from school, we watched him with horse and plough, weaving the pattern of the seasons. The field flooded in wintertime. I saw rowing boats there. The windmill was a ruin with two bedraggled sails. John Boland, Michael Lynch, Jim Quigley and Johnny Murray envisaged what it could become. I thought of a few old friends who had started these games when our children dreamed of Olympic fame and Tayto crisps: Tom Derham, Vincent Woodlock, Jack Murphy, Maurice Mullins, Kevin Carmichael, David Moloney and of course Leonard McGloughlin who launched the aquatic version of the same games. There were hundreds too numerous to mention by name, who gave their time and energy and still do, to encourage children to realise their potential and give us all a day out in the sunshine. There were no video games in evidence anywhere. Yes, I still prefer humans.
Did we win? We have a few Macunity Games medals in dusty drawers. Who won them? I don’t remember. I wouldn’t want to start an argument or a law suit. Steve is no longer with us. He just went to pieces from the stress about forty years ago. Evil Knievel is still around somewhere, speaking of go-fast stripes. Did we win on that fine summer day? Yes we did. There were lollipops and ice cream. Everyone in Nicky Ellis’s field, was a winner.